These are some great jokes, written down to help my aging memory.....



DRAWING BOARD
What did the guy who designed the drawing board design it on????? and had it gone wrong, what would he have gone back to????


24 HOUR OPENING
Why do shops that open 24 hours have locks fitted to their doors????

ORANGE
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange????


ABBREVIATION
Why is the word abbreviation so long????


BACON SLICER
A sign seen in the butchers shop reads...." Please do not sit too near to the bacon slicer, as we are getting a little behind with our orders!"


MAGIC
Guy talks to a woman in a bar and asks her if she is interested in magic. "Sure" says she. So he tells her that in that case they should go back to his place, have sex, and then she can disappear!


CARBURETTOR
This blonde wife goes indoors to tell her hubby that there is water in the carburettor. "Nonsense" says he. "You can't get water in the carburettor, and anyway, you wouldn't know what the carburettor is! Let me see what the problem is....where is the car?"
"In the swimming pool", she says.

FRENCH SANDALS
What do  you call a frenchman in sandals?

"Phillippe Philloppe"