The Life of the Artist
I spent four years of my life at Carmarthen School of Art in West Wales, UK, where I learned a little about art and a lot about life. My artwork during this period took the form of very large, somewhat dramatic abstracts, in either oil paint or emulsion. No one apart from myself had a clue what they meant. Apart from painting, I spent a large part of my time feeling very confused about what course I should be on, and left, still confused, to live in Manchester where I lived and worked for the next 12 months before returning to Wales.
During my early married life, I adapted my creative needs to suit both my environment and my pocket and my creative work took the form of quilts in both patchwork, applique' and machine emroidery. Some of these items were sold to an outlet in Knightsbridge in London. I also spent some of my time writing both short stories and articles, a couple of which were accepted for publication. When my children became less likely to 'help' with my creative work, I returned to paint and paper. I particularly enjoyed taking my ideas from the natural world of plants, trees and landscapes and I began experimenting with water colours, a medium that was totally new to me. Influenced by my love of the impressionist era, I wanted to create a vague ethereal effect, rather than an an exact pictorial representation of my subject and I discovered that the 'wet on wet' technique created the effect that I was looking for. Later, I went on to experiment with different media and developed a liking for pastels and artists crayons, both of which lend themselves well to the impressionistic effect I am so fond of.
During the early 90's I went back to full time study and studied for a degree (BSc Hons) in Occupational Therapy (O.T.) I had always felt an inclination for the healing arts, along with an interest in medicine. Prior to taking the degree, my inclination towards healing had been more along the lines of spiritual healing rather than that of more conventional medicine. However in accordance with my belief that creativity and spirituality stem from the same source, I felt that I might be able to align my creative skills with both healing and medicine under the professional healing banner of OT.
My Mum, me & Emma on my graduation day.
On graduating I worked for a couple of years in the NHS, but although there were many aspects of the work that I enjoyed, I found myself becoming increasingly disenchanted and disilliusioned by the ever increasing paperwork, meetings and managerial roles I was expected to embrace as I became more experienced in the OT role. It seemed that the more experienced I became, the less patient contact I had, along with less creative input. The NHS has it's place, but in many ways it has become a case of analysis paralysis, with the patients' needs for the more human, common touch, sometimes completely overlooked. In my mind the role of the OT was so simple: occupation keeps the mind, body and spirit well, whereas, apathy, idleness and inertia invites depression and ill health. But these days it seems that the profession has to justify it's every action and it seems to have lost the simple joy of occupation, (along with its patients), somewhere along the way.The NHS has it's place, but in many ways it has become a case of analysis paralysis, with the patient's needs for the more human, common touch, sometimes completely overlooked.
After much deliberation, and while also listening to the promptings of an inner guiding voice, I decided to leave the NHS and branch out on my own. I had not long split up with my partner of many years, had very little money and even less experience of business, (never mind being numerately challenged), but despite being cautioned against such a seemingly drastic move, I felt compelled to follow my own direction. However, what I didn't realise when I left full time work, was that this guiding voice was about to take me in a far stranger direction than I could ever have anticipated.
My life had already become rather surreal in that every night after falling asleep, I was pestered by the spirit of an earth bound young man, who kept climbing into my bed and waking me up. These night time visitations were occuring while out of the body rather than in it, and had going on for a number of years. A|so, like most young men in their twenties or thereabouts, he appeared to have only one thing on his mind! As if this wasn't bad enough I was also being pestered by other astral entities who were far more unpleasant and sinister. As if my life wasn't surreal enough, it was about to became even more so.
Some years prior to these night time visitations, my life long spiritual quest had taken me in the direction of the Ascension path. (For more information on this I recommend reading 'The Awakener' by Sandy Stephenson or 'A Little Light on Ascension' by Diana Cooper. )Now, having left full time work and given myself time for reflection, I found my attention turning back to the books I had been reading on the Ascension process. I found these books utterly compelling and as thrilling as anything I had ever read, but I had yet to take on board their content as being based in fact. This was all about to change. The Pleiadian Workbook by Amorah Quan Yin, had sat on my shelf for a number of years and although I had read the channelled information at the beginning of the book I had dismissed the rather elaborately titled exercises as so much American hype. What a huge mistake that was. Re-reading the book and putting these exercises into practice, literally changed my life in the most profound and dramatic manner. I was soon to discover that all the material I had read about the Ascension process is actually true and undisbutably based on fact. Without one shred of doubt, I now truly believe in the Ascension process.
Through the contents of this book,I was able to make contact with the Pleiadian lightbeings,the Ascended Masters, and my own guides. After years of sometimes only spasmodic attempts at meditation, I was inspired to meditate daily and was totally blown away by what was occuring in these meditations. I have been practising meditation since I was a teenager, but i had not experienced anything like this and these profound experiences continue to this day. Friends and family tend to think I must be very disciplined to meditate daily and not let anything very much to get in the way of this daily practice, but as I keep telling them, there is very little self discipline involved when the whole process is so fascinating, so wonderfully loving, and so utterly absorbing, that it creates its own motivation to keep doing it.
I was so inspired by the strange twist my life had taken, that on further listening to my inner voice, I decided to sell my house (at a loss) and move a 100 miles away from my children to live in Cardigan in West Wales, where I lived and worked for 4 years before following my inner voice to move once again to Fishguard. Ten years ago, if someone had told me I would throw away all my security to live alone in rented property practically in a field in the depths of rural Wales, with only animals for neighbours, I would have told them they were completely barking. I would never have believed myself to be that independent, or that courageous. Yet I have never, ever regretted it and am so glad I had the courage to make the change. For the first time in my life I have friends who are on my wavelength, who truly care about my well being and who understand where I am coming from.
I now live in a house overlooking the sea in Fishguard, Pembrokeshire in West Wales, and although I have no real security, no pension plan and no regular income, I love where I am living and where I am going. I have no doubt that I will not stay here and will find myself prompted to move again eventually, but this doesn't bother me one little bit. I know I am being guided and I have complete trust in the source of this guidance. If I was given the choice between a mortgage, a pension plan, a good salary, an expensive car, my previous (high earning) long term partner, and what i have now, it would be no contest; I would choose what I have now every time; because I feel what I have now, is something infinitely more precious. I have kept going for 6 years so far, with no real income. One way or another as soon as my finances start to dry up the money keeps coming in (sometimes bizarrely) to support me. It's never a huge amount, but it's adequate and enough to keep me going until I get where I am going to.
My dream is to own a share in a healing sanctuary, where I can practise my skills with the freedom of my intuition, and not be limited by the constraints of the NHS. Eseentially I am a free spirit, and want to dance to my own internal rhythm and not be bound by the rules and regulations of others. For this I will no doubt move again, and I welcome the move as I thrive on change and variety. I know I am heading in the direction of this healing sanctuary, as I have already been given glimpses of it, along with glimpes of where I will live. So I know that one day soon this dream will become my reality.
In the meantime, thankfully my needs are small andI don't crave after bigger and better things, or for a plethora of material gains, I just want enough to survive, to keep the clothes on my back, my cats and myself well fed, for the odd (usually, very odd) book, and the occasional tub of Hagen Dazs!
Lauren & Emma: My beautiful girls...
Since moving here, I have been led into adapting my art skills and skills in OT for working with people who are interested in art and who are also interested in deveveloping their personal and spiritual skills. So with this in mind I now run classes called Art for the Spirt which focuses on self expression, self exploration and working with the higher self to break through emotional blocks. I also run angel workshop & meditation classes, along with the more ordinary art classes as in developing skills in artists crayons. I have a reasonable idea of where I am going and I know that by the grace of God, my Angels and my Guides, I am becoming more and more successful in my chosen field of work and will continue to do so as long as I continue to follow my heart. That's partly what the ascension process is really all about: the application of heart energy into matter. So if you've never had the courage to follow your dreams before, there has never been a better time to do it; ask for help from the Angels, from your own guides, and from the Divine, and go for it.
I hope sometime this year to put all these experiences in writing, so one day, if you're interested, you may be able to read about these experiences in their entirety. So if the idea of reading all of this in book appeals to you,let me know; it may go a long way to convincing a publisher to take it on!
On a more personal level, I am divorced and have been for 8 years. I have two lovely children: James and Emma, aged 29 and 26 respectively. My daughter has a 7 year old little girl called Lauren; an angel of a child who I adore and who has brought much laughter into my life. She may even be following her grandmother as she is already an enthusiastic artist. As I write I have portraits of myself gracing the walls of my kitchen cabinets; granted I am wearing an inane smile, am having a bad hair day, and seem to be minus one leg, but hey, I can't complain, she's made me at least 2 stone thinner...
Thank you for taking the time to read this & I hope you enjoy the site.
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