A Stranger In The House : the website of Alan Hubbard : A University Education
An Essay in Life Experience (Window Shopping in Amsterdam)

Site Homepage | AUE homepage

	         		       
                                  	           An Essay In Life Experience
	      	     	     (Window Shopping In Amsterdam)


					Windows
					Line the streets.
					The goods
					On display.
					Like eyes
					Looking out.
					Like eyes
					Looking in.
					Red dusk
					Falling,
					Each product
					Awash with crimson.
					They look clean.

					Bored stares 
					Catch a man's eye - 
					Sudden flirtation:
					“I know she doesn’t want me,
					But she wants me.”
					The best ones
					Must be
					Behind the curtains
					With someone else.
					The best advertising
					Denies.
					The ultimate supermarket.
					Sex and shopping
					Now a glorious
					Whole.

					Sample the wares.
					Tight underwear.
					Settle for the blonde
					The other one’s busy.
					Smiles.
					A certain, kind charity:
				     	“Are you sure you’re old enough?”
					Suck n’ Fuck;
					Sounds like a happy meal.
					Big Mac and fries.
					Professionalism behind
					Her eyes.
					No exploitation.
					Except the self.
					Both using
					Each
					Other.
					A Rationalisation?)	
					No love.
					No emotion.
					She is so good,
					(Practice makes perfect)
					Yet unfulfilling.
					I watch myself
					Step through the screen.
					Hardcore pornography.
					Going through the motions.
					No touching inside
					(Except with the penis.)
					I’m more naked than her.
					She keeps her stocking on.
					There’s a mirror.
					I watch myself.
					Watch myself -
					I look away.
					Tender, soft.
					Warm and wet.
					Like the seaside,
					Fairground in the 
					Distance.
					It’s like she’s
					Doing her
					Nails.
					I did ask her
					Probably false.
					The ink would run.
					Where is she from?
					“Haven't you come yet?”
					How strange, I’m
					Used to taking longer.
					What’s in it for her?
					The money.
					
					I feel obliged to
					Hurry up.
					She doesn’t bother faking.
					(Thank God).
					She lights up.
					I dress quickly.
					“Take your time.”
					Breasts covered with
					Symmetry and smoke.
					She throws the
					Condom
					Away.
					What a waste.

					“How was your first time?”
					“It wasn’t my first....”
					“No, with a prostitute.”
					“Fine....No, brilliant.”
					Feel obliged to sound
					Grateful,
					Though I feel empty.
					Like Sunday lunch,
					You have to be
					Grateful.
					“No it doesn’t look burnt.”

					She winks.
					I stand, looking back.
					Toy doll in
					The toystore
					Who were you
					Really?
					We were just
					Behind
					The curtains.
					People had
					Walked
					Outside,
					Like when you try clothes on.
					Marlene:
					The Brand Name.
					 wanted to learn
					Something -
					I found nothing.
					Nothing but
					Materialism
					And emptiness.
					Maybe they are
					The
					Same
					Thing.

					I can’t remember
					Her face
					But
					I know
					She had
					Her
					Vagina
					Pierced.

You can e-mail David here