RAGE AGAINST THE WASHING MACHINE
Tracy Eminem, the controversial conceptual artist, lashed out this
week at the general public's 'ignorant' attitude towards her. Ms Eminem
is best known for her two semenal works My Dirty Laundry and
52 Blokes Who Were Drunk Enough to Shag Me, both of which
were tragically destroyed in the recent fire which consumed Cyril
"Lord" Saatchmo's lockup in Kilburn. We spoke at her Hampstead
mews studio where she was working on a new canvas provisionally entitled
"This gallery ain't big enough for two women who can't paint,
one of us has gotta go and it certainly isn't going to be me"
AU REVOIR AU MAL GARBAGE
"I'm really upset" said Ms
Eminem as I helped her spread human excrement over a picture of Stella
Vino, "You wouldn't believe what some people are saying. The
public are so thick. They think art is just pictures of trees and
stuff. The problem is, they just don't have any concept of the amount
of work that goes into a piece of conceptual art like 52 blokes.
I mean, some of those guys were even uglier than I am."
BITCH VOLLEYBALL
When asked about her rumoured feud with new Saatchmo artist Stella
Vino, she snapped; "Don't talk to me about that untalentless
bitch. She thinks she invented crap art. Well let me tell you, I was
doing crap when she was still in diving suits. My bed was what
started all this crap stuff off. Before that, crap was really crap.
Rubbish.. Now its worth millions, and I done it. If it wasn't
for me, people would still be standing around the National Gallery
or whatever, staring at pictures of trees or ships. I freed the world
from all this art tyranny, so she can fuck off with her crappy crap.
My crap is the real thing."
©2004 The Lyer artsnews syndicate
