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BLAIR'S MESSAGE TO BRITAIN |
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BLAIR'S MESSAGE TO BRITAIN |
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Top chefs gathered at the Dorchester yesterday for a unique opportunity to question the Prime Minister face to face about issues of the day. At first TV chefs, including Aynsley Whiteboy and Gary Tate-Lyle, the suger chef, lobbed soft questions which the Prime Minister deflected easily. When Mr. Whiteboy accused New Labour of dodging the filo pastry issue, he countered with some devastating trade figures, many containing several noughts. |
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REPLACEMENT
DOUBLE
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Sparks began to fly when Francis, the head chef at The Pink Pussycat in Rye remarked that the PM did not appear to look his usual self after his recent diplomatic to-ing and fro-ing, and wondered if all this Iraq business was perhaps getting to him. Mr. Blair retorted:- "I am fine. Mrs Blair is fine.Mr. and Mrs. Bush are fine.The conflagration is going very well. Weapons of mass destruction. God Save the Queen." |
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COLLATERAL
THINKING
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| Raphael of Fortnum and Mason's then asked Mr. Blair if he had spoken to President Bush recently, in the light of the recent public indignation over friendly fire and the civilian casualties in Iraq. Mr. Blair replied icily:- "I am fine, Mrs. Blair is fine. I refer you to the reply I gave earlier. Weapons of mass destruction." Looking at his watch, he went on:- "President and Mrs. Bush are fine. I am fine. Saddam is not fine. He is a ruthless dictator who has terrible chemical weapons which he has used to kill literally millions of members of his own family." (his own italics) |
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WEAPONS OF ARSE DESTRUCTION
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After a short embarressed pause, Mr. Blair was hustled off the podium and driven away in a metallic blue hover car with silver fins powered by anti-gravity pods, and flanked by multi-coloured flying saucers |